Win-win - misunderstood and worn out?

A few years ago, I began to understand the win-win concept better and saw it as a necessity to bring more understanding to the world. After all, my consulting company has been called Win Win AG since 2002.

In order to deepen this understanding even further and to underpin it more scientifically, I asked a professor in whose department the topic of win-win is part of the curriculum whether it would be possible to write a doctoral thesis on this topic. However, his answer initially threw me back a little. "Am I on the wrong track?" I asked myself, and: "Am I not seeing things clearly here?"

What had he said?

"Win-win? Oh, the topic has already been exhausted."

It took me a while to understand that this professor was only interested in win-win in a very small, limited area, namely in game theory. It does have applications in everyday life, but the step from these theories to the reality of life is very large. That is a big contrast to my understanding. Because if I myself am really convinced of something, I ideally apply it in every area of life. I'm not saying that university teaching on the subject of win-win is completely wrong, but I am saying that it can be very one-sided and that essential aspects are ignored as a result.

Compromise is not a solution!

Perhaps you know the classic example: two children are fighting over an orange. But mom doesn't like fighting, and in the best belief that it's good to share, she cuts the orange in half. This is supposed to bring peace and teach the children an important life lesson. In fact, they do learn something, but ... unfortunately the wrong thing. Because when they grow up, they will argue about who takes out the garbage and then do it by halves again. But that's a lazy compromise, and compromises are usually always lose-lose, the complete opposite of win-win.

But if mom had taken the time to ask the children why they both wanted the orange, these two answers might have come up: "I want to drink orange juice" and "I want to build a little man out of the peel." So what did she achieve by sharing the orange? That both children are unhappy, because now each has to give up something of what they want - and in return they get something they don't want.

Actually, there is no real dispute. There is only ambiguity, misunderstandings and assumptions. A classic compromise almost always leads to a lose-lose result. Steven Covey explains it with the following example:

Two employees have to share an office space. One of them opens the window. The other is annoyed and closes it again. So it goes back and forth: open closed closed closed closed. A compromise is reached: 30 minutes open and 30 minutes closed. When asked why open, why close, the answers were: "I want and need more fresh air" and "It gets too cold for me, I freeze quickly." Again, lose-lose. What could be recommended here as a win-win solution? Perhaps an air purifier and an infrared heater.

If we understand the universal laws, then we know that there is a solution to every problem. The nonsensical struggle that leads to lose-lose is unnecessary and always has a completely undesirable outcome. Well, there are wars of the roses and people often prefer lose-lose so that only the other person is not happy.

Is win-win really "worn out" if the majority of us still act in such a way that we believe compromise is the solution? When two people carry out the garbage and nobody actually wants it?

If we live our purpose and are centered, then we can communicate what we want more clearly and avoid so many unnecessary fights. So let's dissolve our inner programs that prevent this.

And that is far from over, dear Professor.

Horizontal and vertical win-win

In order to recognize win-win in all dimensions, we have to go to a different level of consciousness, step outside the box, so to speak, in order to look at our world from a completely new perspective. I differentiate here between horizontal and vertical win-win:

For me, horizontal win-win is the result on the same level of consciousness. We swap the skin for the flesh. But the question of the real goal alone means being prepared to go to a higher, meta-level. Because only then can a solution be found that satisfies both parties involved. This is vertical win-win.

It is also important to recognize what Einstein meant when he said: "The mind that created the problem cannot solve it." Real win-win always involves the laws of nature. There is no contradiction to what is true. And true win-win should always lead to the Next Level® of consciousness, action and results. This is the vertical idea.

Well, dear Professor, has this already been sucked dry too? How about we all keep sucking on it together instead?

Be the Change you Want to see in the World

Especially at the upcoming Winspiration event in Los Angeles on the occasion of Winspiration Day, I have found that even so-called spiritual teachers do not recommend the event for fear of competition. For fear of losing clients, they say "Nah, Sonnenburg has never recommended me either!"

... And these are the very teachers who often quote: "Be the change you want to see in the world." What change is that supposed to be? The one who turns everything into a lose-lose situation out of a mindset of lack?

I am therefore all the more grateful to all those involved, who are listed on the poster on the left. Not only because they all come at their own expense to support a great community idea. They also leave the lose-lose fear behind and know that we can create infinite wealth if we work with purpose work together. Above all, I am grateful to Bob Proctor, who tirelessly shares this idea with the world that competition is amateurish. Professionals create together! And of course I thank him for helping me to understand the vertical win-win and for being a great role model.

Winspiration Day 2017 will be live-streamed directly from Los Angeles and participation is of course free of charge. It's something great that's happening here! Come to LA or register here for the live stream.

The nominees for the Winspiration Award 2017 are: Marianne Williamson, Marisa Peer, Michael Beckwith, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Vishen Lahkiani.

All great personalities, all very winspirational in their own way. During the event you will find out who the Most Winspirational Person 2017.

And if you haven't yet read or given away the book Lieber die ganze Welt gegen mich als meine Seele - please order it, read it and recommend it to others. It provides a basis for living a real win-win life. Only then is prosperity and inner fulfillment possible.

Thank you for reading, living and shaping!



Wolfgang Sonnenburg
Purpose Hacker

winning for life

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